Seth Godin refers to it as the lizard brain.
Steven Pressfield has named it the resistance.
Some people on social media refer to it as the noise.
I refer to it as the banter.
That little voice you hear in your mind questioning your thoughts and ideas.
Will anyone care about my post?
Is my idea too radical? Am I being polarizing?
Will my peers still respect me?
Am I being too transparent? Am I not protecting my privacy?
Will people understand my point of view?
Did I proofread, edit, revise, and polish my post so that it is perfect?
For the past few weeks, I have allowed the banter to get the best of me.
I allowed all the naysayers, doubters, peers, and friendly colleagues’ opinions to cloud my own judgment.
I took their commentary, their questions, their opinions and their mentoring and allowed it to steer me down a pathway to silence.
A dark place.
A place of quiet.
A place in which the banter continues to scream questions trying to inflict self-doubt of my ideas, my thoughts, and my vision.
Then something happened.
I was standing in front of my mirror and it reminded me of a poem. A poem that my father gave me a long time ago. (The Man In The Glass)
I pulled it out and there was the one sentence I needed….
And you’ve passed your most dangerous difficult test
if the man in the glass is your friend…
I realized that I wasn’t currently friends with the reflection in the mirror.
I had been ignoring him. I hadn’t spoken to him in weeks. I hadn’t gone out for a walk, gotten drinks, written a note, or shared any of my thoughts with him.
I had ditched my best friend, the reflection in the mirror, for a bunch of opinions from people that haven’t known me as long.
So this is my way of reminding myself to ignore the banter.
To listen and then just as quick to forget.
To listen to the soft whisper of my heart, where my friend resides, and where my truth lies.
Ignore the banter. Listen to the whisper.
Care happens at the N of 1.
I am the one.
As always feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow me on Twitter as @cancergeek