Remembering My Own Ethics

A few weeks ago one of my friends and her fiancé asked me to be the official for their wedding. They heard a speech I gave at a wedding last summer and were so touched that they hoped I would do the same for them. 

I thought about it and then agreed to do it. It’s a huge responsibility, privilege, and commitment. 

I was humbled and touched to be included in such an intimate occasion. To share in a moment filled with such love. 

Over the last few weeks many people in my family have heard of this news. 

I’ve received plenty of phone calls telling me that I cannot do this, or why I shouldn’t, or how it goes against the religion I was raised in. I have been sent emails trying to educate me on how wrong it is for me to officiate. I’ve had people tell me that I CANNOT do this. 

I stopped to be introspective and consider my own ethics and beliefs. 

As I was driving one evening I began to think about my father, who passed 2 years ago, and what he would say to me. 

Then everything became clear. 

The calls, the emails, the text messages, and the conversations were all coming from people that live out of fear. 

You CAN’T do this, because if you do, then this “really bad thing” will happen. 

Imagine living my entire life out of fear. Choosing to do things because I’m afraid that if I don’t follow the crowd that I will be ostracized.

My father always taught me to choose my own path. To do my own thing. To lead and not follow. To be a man of my word. To have a high say-do ratio. To speak my truth. That I am no better than anyone else, as no one else is better than me. To ignore the crowd and make my own path.  

My father taught me to live my life and to make my choices out of love. 

That’s why we are all here, to make a dent in the universe. 

Choosing love makes an impact in the lives of others; choosing fear makes an impact in only our own lives. 

I’m choosing love. 

I hope you do too. 

As always you can feel free to email me at or follow me on Twitter @cancergeek



One response to “Remembering My Own Ethics

  1. I think of the celebration and commitment part of a wedding ceremony as an anthropologist might, with a gathering of the tribes and clans, as they see a union being created. THough we have formally “vested” the priest, rabbi, judge, or minister with these duties, there is something really more wonderful about the couple requesting that a friend help with make their committment public to their friends and families. It may be more important to the couple than the words from someone who really does not know them, and give greater meaning to their marriage.

    Blessings on you and the couple.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s