Last night I had a 2 hour drive home. During my drive I was thinking about the days events. It was dark, cold, snow was blowing, and it was just me, the open road, and my radio. I was left alone to my thoughts.
As I was driving I began to think that I needed some advice. I grabbed my phone and realized once again, that the one person I would always call, my father, would not be answering my phone.
For the second time in a few weeks it reminded me that my father no longer walks this earth. It made me sad. It brought a chill into my body that matched the freezing temperatures outside. The tears in my eyes began to well and fall down my cheeks like water dripping from a spout, freezing, and making icicles.
I wiped away the tears and called a colleague in Florida. He is older, wiser, and is a straight talker. A lot like my own father. He has no problems calling BS, getting to point, and also being a voice of reason.
Please pick up. Please pick up.
He answered, “Hey buddy, how’s it going?”
It wasn’t the same voice that I was used to hearing in my time of need, but it was a familiar voice that I knew I could trust at this very moment.
We caught up with one another. I shared with him a few ideas I had floating around in my head due to several conversations I had recently with customers and healthcare providers. He gave me his opinion. He shared with me what he saw as potential barriers. He also reminded me that I can pretty much do anything I want to do, I just have to decide which choice I am more passionate and want to dedicate time and energy to taking on.
At the end of the conversation I confessed that I called him because I lost my father and I needed that voice of reason. I needed a mentor. I needed a promoter to bounce the ideas off of and let me know if I was directionally correct or if I was off base.
He said to me, “Anytime you need anything, you call me. Just pick up the phone and dial. Anytime. I am in your corner.”
I realized a few things last night.
1. I am not alone. The voice I may want to hear may no longer be present, but the inspiration still exists. It’s just different voices now.
2. We all need mentors and promoters. Each of us needs to have that person or persons that we can rely on to be the voice of reason, to be a confidant, to call BS for us.
3. I need to take a break. I have been so focused on work, making an impact, and keeping myself busy that I have not taken the appropriate time I need to mourn. I have been doing everything in my power to run in the opposite direction. To escape it. To forget about it. I need to embrace it. I need to go through the process.
4. I need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable emotionally. I am good at doing this in my daily professional life that it is almost second nature. However, in my personal life, I am not so good at it. I need to focus on this over the next fews weeks and improve.
5. That all of us, no matter walk of life or title, that we all just want to know that someone else cares about our voice. We all have a story. We want to know that we are not alone. We want to feel normal and legitimate. We want to share.
Today my story allowed me to see I am not alone.
Tell me your story.
As always, you can feel free to contact me at: CANCERGEEK@GMAIL.COM or follow me on twitter @cancergeek
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